


Enough

by Tammyiia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Attempted Suicide, M/M, Modern, Oneshot, Reborn - Freeform, Reincarnation, Sad, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-12 00:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13535775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tammyiia/pseuds/Tammyiia
Summary: I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough of seeing people I used to know blank me on the street. I’ve had enough of people calling me a false name. I’ve had enough of getting my hopes up only for them to be dashed just as quickly. I’ve had enough of calling out someone’s name only to be asked ‘who are you?’ ‘Do I know you?’.I’ve had enough.I’ve had enough of this life.





	Enough

I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough of seeing people I used to know blank me on the street. I’ve had enough of people calling me a false name. I’ve had enough of getting my hopes up only for them to be dashed just as quickly. I’ve had enough of calling out someone’s name only to be asked ‘who are you?’ ‘Do I know you?’.

I’ve had enough.

I’ve had enough of this life.

I haven’t always been like this. I used to have hope that I’d fine someone that understood me. I used to dream that they’d find me, that we’d have a huge reunion. I used to have hope.

“Aaron. Are you listening to me?” the annoyed voice called.

I looked despondently at my teacher. There was no point to this. Why did I even bother coming to Uni?

“You need to be paying more attention in class, Aaron. I’m tired of having to say you name over and over. This is university. If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be”. The class was chattering with laughter.

“Whatever.” I said.

She walked away with a huff, getting back to whatever the hell she was doing. I didn’t care.

Today was the day I’d do it. Today was the day I would finally die.

Coming to uni was just an end to a means, I’d be able to slip away at lunch and nobody would look for me till it was too late. The bell rang, I hadn’t bothered getting anything out for class. So, I just left. Nobody stopped me, nobody talked to me and nobody cared where I was going.

I continued walking straight out the gates. Down the little road that lead to the other side of town. I kept on walking.

It wasn’t even like I was depressed. I wasn’t. I just didn’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t want to remember.

That’s what it all boiled down to. The memories. The ones that would wake me up in the middle of the night screaming, the ones that painted the back of my eyelids red with blood and the ones where I was happy. A far cry from what I am now.

It wouldn’t be so bad if I still had my friends, If I still had Mikasa, Armin and…if I still had him.

I’d seen Mikasa in town one day. I called out to her happily. Asked her where she’d been? What she’d been up to. Her eyes had been so cold, they looked right through me as she asked who I was. I felt as if my heart was breaking, it had been ripped in two and stomped on. Her friends had called her away, laughing at me as I’d tried to keep the tears in.

That was five years ago.

She was the only person I’d ever met that might have convinced me that I wasn’t going insane and she didn’t have a clue who I was. I didn’t even know if her name was Mikasa.

I’d made it to my destination. It was raining lightly, misting in a way that seemed to blanket the world in grey. I doubt anyone would see me in this. It was the perfect weather.

The area I’d chosen wasn’t very well known. I’d been scouting in for a few weeks. Joggers didn’t really seem to come this way because of the dark paths and sharp beds, they seemed to favour the well-lit roads.

The bridge was off the beaten path, the river below was deep. I’d tested that too. I dropped my backpack onto the floor. Carefully removing my shoes and coat. The light rain cut into my cheeks and exposed arms. It was the middle of January, the weather was threatening to drop below freezing point today.

I folded my coat carefully on top of my shoes.

I took a deep breath and climbed onto the ledge. My bare feet cut into the freezing metal frame of the bridge. I held onto the bar and pulled myself into a standing position.

From here I could see the other end of the bridge. Flowers lay haphazardly around the base at the other end. I guess someone had already killed themselves here.

So here I was. This was it.

As I looked down at the swirling mass of darkness below, I thought I would feel something. Maybe a need to jump back and live but all I could feel was relief.

I’d finally worked up the courage to do this.

I took a deep breath and laughed.

“If I’m reborn again. Please, make it so I forget.” I whispered. I closed me eyes. Ready to take that final step.

“Wait! You don’t want to do this.” Someone called out.

I didn’t look back at them. My hand tightened on the railing.

“Go away.” My voice hoarse. I’d finally worked myself up to this. I was going to do it. I want this to end.

“No.” The stranger replied. The deep voice belonging to a guy, I could tell that at least. “I’m not leaving. Whatever this is you can get through it.”  

I laughed. “You don’t know anything.”

“Then tell me. Talk to me.” He said. His voice softer, he was closer now.

“Don’t get any closer or I’ll jump.” I threatened. I didn’t need him to pull me back.

“Okay, okay.” I imagined him with his hands in the air in surrender. “I’ll stay here. Just talk to me okay.”

“Why the fuck should I? You wouldn’t understand anyway.” I shouted, not able to keep my voice down. My breath was coming on in shallow pants. My heart racing, I wanted this. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?

“You don’t know until you try.” He said.

His voice sounded like velvet, as if he was trying to lure me in.

My grip on the railing was starting to burn from gripping it so tightly. My feet were freezing at the rain splashed them.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, I just want to forget.” I said, I could feel my eyes stinging. The rain maybe, or perhaps I was crying.

“What’s your name?” The stranger asked.

“What does it matter, I’ll be dead soon.”

“It matters to me. I want to remember you.” He said.

What a fucking joke. I’d been scouting this place for week and nobody ever comes. I hadn’t seen a single fucking person and this jackass has to show up when I’ve finally made up my mind. Just as I’m about to jump.

“Just fuck off, okay!” I screamed. I took my hand away from the pole that was balancing me. “I’ve already decided I want to die so stop trying to force me to live.”

Strong hands came out of nowhere, grabbing onto the waistband of my jeans and yanking me backwards. I felt myself falling but not in the direction I wanted to go.

I crashed to the floor on top of the stranger, still facing away from him. His arms were wrapped around my waist holding me to him.

I started to struggle but he’d somehow trapped my arms in the fall.

“Let me go you fucker, why can’t you just stay out of other peoples’ business?” I wriggled angrily.

“Calm down you damn brat! There’s no way I’m letting you throw away your life. I don’t just a fuck what you say.” The stranger growled into my ear.

I felt myself go limp in his arms as the insulting moniker.

“Let go.” My voice broke on the ‘go’, I felt pathetic.

“No way. I’m not letting go. You’re going to come to my house and we’re going to have a chat. I don’t care how long it takes. I won’t let you die, brat.”

This had to be some sort of cosmic joke. Was it fun for the big guy to rub salt into the wound? Did he want me to suffer? Was I being punished for something? There was no way that the random hero could be him, so freaking way.

I could feel myself start to cry, still locked in his arms.

He released my arms, getting us into a sitting position. I immediately covered my face. I didn’t want to see him. I felt a coat being dropped onto my shoulders.

“Come on, lets get out of this rain.” He said kindly.

I started to sob. “Go, just leave me.”

He sighed. “I thought we’d gone over this.”

He felt him move around me. Till he was in front of me. Shoes were being forced onto my freezing feet. I could feel the laces being done up. When he was done he took me by the upper arm and with a lot of strength he pulled me to my feet. His hand didn’t leave my arm and my hands didn’t leave my face.

“Come on.” He started to pull me away from the bridge. Away from my salvation and into another painful encounter that was going to slam the remaining piece of my heart into the ground.

I couldn’t do anything but sob and walk as he pulled me along. I didn’t want to look at him. Maybe I could break away and run into traffic. Anything to avoid this moment.

We didn’t walk far; his house must have only been around the corner. Maybe he’d seen me from his window and rushed out. Just my luck.

I was pulled into a warm house, the door shut behind me. I hear the lock go into place.

“Take off your clothes, I’ll get you some dry ones.” He said.

“Just let me go home. I promise I won’t try to jump again.” I pleaded. Taking my clothes off would mean I’d have to see his face.

“I’ve heard that one before.” He pulled off my coat and grabbed my wrists. “Take your hands away from your face. We need to get you dry and I can’t get your shit off like that.”

I tried to lock my arms, so he couldn’t pull them away, but it didn’t seem to do much. He pried them away with ease.

And then I saw his face.

It was as beautiful as I remembered. He was younger, or maybe he just looked younger because of the lack of dark circles. His hair was still cut in that same style that he’d always had, except his bangs were glued to his face due to the rain. He was still pale, delicate but sharp features. His eyes were a stormy grey and very pissed off.

I wonder what he saw when he looked at me. A pathetic kid, a stranger.

I watched as his eyes took me in. I watched the shock pass through them, then fear. The hands on my writs tightened.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He whispered angrily. “Why would you try to kill yourself?” He was shouting now. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Answer me, Eren.”

The sobs that had racked my body came back full force. He’d called me Eren. I hadn’t told him my name. He knew me. Oh god, he knew me.

“I’m sorry.” I cried, my breath was coming out harder as I sobbed. “I’m sorry, Levi.”

He pulled me into a tight embrace. My legs buckled as he took my full weight, lowering us to the floor as I cried.

“Shhh, shhh. It’s alright now, Eren. I’ve got you. I’ve got you now and I’m never letting go.” Levi whispered into my hair.

My fingers dug into the back of his shirt as I cried silently. This morning I’d had enough of this life. This morning I was ready to throw it all away but as Levi hugged me so tightly it hurt, I realised that i didn’t want this to be the end.

This life wasn’t enough.

“I love you, Eren.”

“I Love you too, Levi.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this. Please leave me some feedback. I'll be posting in my other stories soon!


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